Show Biz and the Brown Paper Bag

I suppose I’m having an Andy Rooney moment, but why is it that in movies and on TV shows, groceries are placed in a 1-ply flimsy brown paper bag without the handles?  It puzzles me that the brown handle-less bag has had such career longevity! Last week I watched one of my favorite shows on HBO. The character, seemingly in her 70s, enters her home with a few handle-less grocery bags. The first thought that entered my mind was that at my age, I would have a helluva a time carrying groceries in those types of bags—and I’m much younger in age than the character! I don’t know about you, but I distinctly remember when in the late 70s, supermarkets provided the convenient grocery bags with handles! I suppose it might seem more dramatic to have the character bear hug his/her groceries with what might seem as movie cliché items. 

With respect to recent grocery bag regulations, I think the entertainment business should get with the times! The nationwide ban on plastic bags has begun. In addition, a surcharge of 10 -25 cents per bag is applied should a customer forget to bring their own reusable bags. I’ve also read that within a few years, the single-use bags will be banned from most supermarkets and retail stores. Maybe movies don’t always mirror real life changes and events, but I think the paper bag—with or without handles should retire from show biz altogether!

It Will Be a Year...

The Last Days of Sam

My beautiful Sam died on Saturday, December 11, 2010 at 9:25 am. The details of his death still upset me. Sam was supposed to come home the next day but he went into cardiac arrest and passed away without me by his side.

A fatty lump rested on his chest and it felt hot and swollen. From the moment I met the oncology physician, Dr. M, I pushed on having a biopsy done, but he insisted on doing more cultures, x-rays and blood work. We had already done these entire tests weeks prior through my own vet.  All results indicated low white blood count and inflammation. Sam had been taking Prednisone, two types of antibiotics and painkillers for two weeks.  He was experiencing chills and fever and had lost a significant amount of weight caused by Prednisone. Yet this doctor wanted to repeat the tests, as he felt the ones taken before had not been to his satisfaction. The next two weeks, we went to the clinic often ~ only to come back home with no answers ~ just refills of the same useless medications. Needless to say, I dug into my savings and racked up daily charges on my credit card. At the end, Sam’s medical expenses came close to $6,000.

It had already been a month. Sam's teeth chattered from chills, and the fevers made his breathing wheezy and forceful. I was scared and helpless.  I wanted him to be the way he had been before all of this ~ a smart playful happy dog. I had my routine of bringing his fever down, which I repeated at least 3-4 times a day. I used rubbing alcohol, ice packs and damp cloth to cool him down.  I gave him his favorite popsicles and force-fed him watermelons. Yes, Sam loved fruits and vegetables! I also used a turkey baster to pour water down his throat. I wanted to flush out the heat out of his system. Also, his poor butt was sore from frequent thermometer insertions.

Finally, Dr. M scheduled the biopsy for which, Sam had to go under general anesthesia.  I voiced my concerns about his age and his frailty ~ and whether the procedure had to be carried out under general vs. local. He explained how animals wig out under twilight sedation.  He reassured me that he had successfully operated on dogs much older than Sam. 

He had a 10:30 am appointment.  I had not given him any food or water. I called the clinic a couple of hours later to get updates. Sam had not been taken in for his procedure.  Evidently, an emergency situation with another dog pulled Dr. M away, and the biopsy had been pushed to a later time.  I called time and time again and reiterated my concerns, but I didn't get much help or compassion from  anyone.  It wasn’t until 5 pm when they finally did the biopsy.  My poor dog had been stuck there ~ thirsty and starving with a high temperature. I was livid! 

Dr. M called at 8 pm with a good news.  Biopsy result had come back as non-cancerous. The lump had been an abscess formation. They had proceeded to drain the area and had started him on a heavy dose of antibiotic.  My dog would’ve recovered from the month long sickness if only…

I couldn't wait to pick him up the next day. At 9 am, I received a call from Dr. M. He said Sam's blood pressure had dropped to 50 at 5 am. I was stunned and speechless! I had placed my dog at a 24-hour clinic, forking out $1000 a night so he'd  be in great care. I assumed the staff had enough common sense to contact me in case of an emergency.  So why didn't they call me during those early hours? Why didn't they call Dr. M? Needless to say, when I expressed my anger about mishandling of the situation, the doctor coughed up an attitude. He responded, "Please don't take a tone with me. I just got here, so I didn't know!" Then, he sheepishly admitted that putting Sam under general anesthesia weakened him more; hence, the drop in blood pressure. My biggest fear had come to pass. In a very matter of fact way, he asked that I get myself to the clinic as soon as possible to make decisions and arrangements. While driving, I hoped my visit would lift Sam's spirit so he would fight for his life.  My sister joined me and we were both crying. I drove like an obnoxious crazy person honking at slow drivers. In the midst of my road rage, I received the second call requesting permission to intubate.  I didn't know what course of action to take, but I said yes anyhow.  I just wanted to get there as fast as I could. At  9:25 am, I received the final call of Sam's passing.  We were  late by four minutes! 

It was so strange to see his motionless body. We hugged and kissed him. I kept saying, I'm sorry my baby boy.  I tried to get to you as fast as I could." We were asked if we wanted a plaque of Sam's paw print! My sister, sarcastically said, "Will you be charging us for the plaque as well?" Dr. M didn't seem to appreciate the question, but calmly answered, "no, it's no charge to you! At last, we said our goodbyes and left with what was left from Sam ~ a paw print!  As we were about to exit the clinic, I was called in to settle a $25 medication bill.  Weeks later, I continued to receive test results, which under normal circumstances would've been great  ~ but the information was no longer useful to me or Sam!

I was so sad for not being there for him but I felt guilty about one thing.  At  2 am I woke up startled from a nightmare in which Sam's dead body was brought to me by a nurse.  I should've seen this as a premonition. This information had been given to me, and it didn't phase me to call the clinic right there and then. Instead, I calmed down and assumed that it had only been a stress dream.  God, I hated myself!

I loved Sam to pieces. He was my smart beautiful Lab/Beagle mix.  I always knew that I would outlive him, but I never knew how hard it would be to not have him around.  I adored him as a puppy, but it was the dog that I loved so very deeply. I love my other dog, Phoebe. She too loved Sam. After Sam's passing, she stopped playing with her toys and slept a lot.  I think she missed him. I was too depressed to give her the love and attention she deserved. Then one day, I snapped out of it and I realized that she had come to my life and the two of us had to heal one another.  She also deserved the same love that I gave Sam.  I love Phoebe so much, but Sam will always have a very special place in my heart.  I miss him but I dream of him often.

Unfortunately, veterinary world seems so topsy-turvy.  When discussing the high cost of veterinary care, I remember a few doctors at the clinic telling me, “having a pet is a luxury!” That ‘s an insensitive and wrong attitude to have when so many pets in shelters and other rescue organizations are in need of a home. I hope to see positive changes in my time soon.  Human medicine and insurance has its flaws but veterinary care and pet insurance is far more convoluted and has too many gray areas.  These animals can’t speak for themselves but if they could, I bet Sam would’ve said, “please call my mom so she could be there by my side as I leave this world!”
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“This soldier, I realized, must have had friends at home and in his regiment; yet he lay there deserted by all except his dog. I looked on, unmoved, at battles, which decided the future of nations. Tearless, I had given orders, which brought death to thousands. Yet here I was stirred, profoundly stirred, stirred to tears. And by what? By the grief of one dog.

Napoleon Bonaparte, on finding a dog beside the body of his dead master, licking his face and howling, on a moonlit field after a battle. Napoleon was haunted by this scene until his own death.”
― Napoleon Bonaparte